Before arriving at Bymark, we’ve passed by Ki and decided to quickly drop in to check out the crowd so that we’ll have a backup place in case Bymark is not happening. The crowd at Ki is definitely 25+ professionals. It has a small patio and it was already filled with the after work crowd and inside was busy as well. We were pleased with Ki’s crowd so it’s certainly a contingency place if Bymark is a disappointment.

Bymark is located on Wellington in the TD Center. However we got confused and thought it was at the TD bank tower attached to the BCE place. We finally found it and boy we thought Ki was busy, but Bymark was jam packed, both the patio and lounge area. It also has a much bigger patio area compared to Ki.

I felt a little intimidated by the unanticipated huge crowd and also the type of crowd that it is. Similar to Ki, the clientele is 25+ professionals but here they probably range from 25 to early 50s. I would guess that 97% of them work at the TD Tower in the investment or consulting business, which leads to me to believe they make at least 70K to over 100K annually.

I mean I expected professionals, you can say casual professionals, but this crowd is like formal professionals where all the men were in suits and the women were dressed very business-like as well with majority of them in dress pants or pencil skirts with blouses. There were a few women, who are older, and I would guess that they’re in their 40s, who wore skimpier outfits, such as a very low neckline top or body hugging dress that shows off their clearly surgically enhanced breasts. These women may be in their 40s but you can tell that they work hard to stay in shape and to look young with their trendy sense of style and wrinkle free skin. Even the older men don’t look so bad themselves, despite the gray hair, you can tell that they workout to stay in shape as well. 

Aida and I on the other hand, I would say that we’re under-dressed compared to them. I think we may have stood out because of that. I was wearing a fitting high-waisted knee length pencil skirt with a fitted round neck, short sleeve blue top along with my patent Steve Madden sandals and gold and white Micheal Kors satchel. I guess I can pass for semi-professional but I really felt like changing into dress pants and a pretty blouse. Aida was dressed even more casually but very trendy and summery with her short sleeve floral printed dress that hits just below her bum, accessorized with a gold belt, tan coloured Betsy-Johnson purse and finished off with tan coloured gladiator heels. I can’t help but wonder if we gave off the gold digger vibe…maybe it’s a little bit of the guilty conscious talking. Also, in order to take in the crowd, we can’t help but scout around, so that may have given off the “I’m here to be picked up by a successful man” vibe as well.

Aida and I wanted to get seats in the patio but they were only seating people who were planning to have dinner so we settled for seats inside the back of the lounge because we’ve only budgeted for drinks and appetizers. The prices are quite steep but of course they suit the salaries of their clientele. Each drink is at least $12 and appetizers are over $15 except for the fries and mini burgers, even so it’s $7 and $9 respectively. We were both hungry so we agreed to sharing appetizers and decided on the fries and calamari. As for drinks, I ordered a pineapple mojito and Aida ordered the Bymark signature martini. I have to admit despite the high prices, the drinks and appetizers coupled with their dipping sauces were delicious! Like the saying goes, “You get what you paid for.” Also when I think about it, the prices are pretty average for a martini and mojito.

As we ate and sipped our drinks, we can’t help but scout around the room and peek through the glass windows to the patio for potential candidates. I also noticed that people were either chatting or messaging on their blackberry. I felt embarrassed bringing out my regular Samsung phone when I was texting. Aida has her blackberry from work and she says, “Oh, I can pretend I’m doing work on my blackberry too.” I then joked, “Um, but yours is such an old model, it’s not any better than my Samsung phone,” and we both laughed.

We ventured out to the patio once we were done the appetizers and Aida has finished her drink. I on the other hand was still nursing on my mojito, one reason is that I’m a light weight, and second is that I prefer not to order another drink if I don’t have to due to budget reasons. Both reasons are pretty sad. Oh well, luckily the mojito has a lot of limes, pineapples, leaves of mint and ice to make it look like it’s still full =)

Inside the lounge has died down a bit but the patio is still packed, we literally had to squeeze our way through to the patio bar so Aida can order her drink, not to mention there’s a line there too. While we’re waiting for the bartender to take Aida’s order, she attempted to start a conversation with the man in the suit who was doing little dances behind the bar. The dances were quite funny and he seemed friendly and easy going, however he didn’t seem too intrigued when Aida commented on his dance moves. At first I thought he was just a customer who’s such a regular there that he gets to pour himself a drink at the side of the bar, but Aida suggested that he’s probable a manger or owner there. That probably makes more sense so Aida being her usual strategic self made a point to chat with him, unfortunately the man didn’t take the bait.

We moved around to a few different spots to better check out the crowd, as well to secure better spacing so that we’re not pushed or bumped into when people are trying to get to the bar. By then we were both ready to head home.

Again, it was certainly another good learning experience. We’ve agreed to definitely come back with a new strategy and of course to enjoy the yummy drinks and food again =)

Being Saturday night, the girls have decided to check out Courthouse because we always hear the music on the radio and we like the playlist. I was instantly disappointed by the crowd as soon as we arrive, specifically speaking of the male candidates. Either they’re much older, like in their mid 30′s and unattractive or they look under 25 and not very attractive either and definitely lack success. However, the music playing kept me moving.

I wasn’t drinking at all as I was the designated driver and not to mention I’m on a tight budget and rather blow the $$$ on more worthy occasions, such as going specifically towards Misión Posible. I have a feeling the budget for this project is going to be quite pricey, especially if we want to hook the ideal big fish

In between dancing, being silly with my girlfriends and text messages with a boy whom I’ve been flirting with for the past month, I’ve noticed two Caucasian males at VIP booth by the balcony who seems to be by themselves with bottle service. Male in white shirt is cute, male in black polo top – not so cute. Determined to kick off the project and have some fun practicising spontaneity, Aida & I went upstairs with no strategy in mind.

When we got upstairs, the cute one in white is sitting by himself.  We stood near their VIP booth, whispering nervously about what approach to take. I finally took a deep breath and sat down next to the cute boy and introduced myself. His name is Kevin, and apparently it’s his first time at Courthouse as wel. His friend is smoking outside, hence he’s sitting by himself at the moment. I then introduced Aida to him. Kevin picks up the bottle of vodka and I thought he’ll offer us drinks but nope, he was just refilling for himself. Just then, his friend comes back and introduced himself to us as Greg.

A minute later, the rest of our girlfriends have arrived upstairs and are all staring at us. Feeling awkward and not wanting the guys to think we brought our entire entourage to crash their party (or to get free drinks, which I was hoping to at least score one from their flipping VIP booth), I said bye to Kevin. He replied, “I’ll have to come and look for you at the dance floor later” I smiled and said “Yeah”. At that point, I really didn’t care to know him, however I was disppointment and embarrassed about the result because I have failed to score myself even one free drink. They’re definitely not gentlemen, I’m still baffled at the fact that he refilled his own drink but didn’t have the common courtesy to offer even one drink to Aida and me when they had the entire bottle service to themselves. How rude!

Lessons learned:

• When approaching guys, must not bring your entire group of posies, and inform them beforehand to wait aside and not stare (or at least stare from afar) to avoid embarrassment and awkwardness
• Best is to have one girlfriend with you, perhaps two at the most
• Definitely helps to have a game plan
• Feel that it’s best to let the guys do the approaching after all, you feel more feminine and valued that way

All and all, it was a good learning experience. Now I know that I rather be passive agressive by sending signals out skillfully to the opposite sex, than to attack agressively

We had a bit of difficulty finding the place as we confused the TD Tower with the TD Centre, which is where Bymark is located. As soon as we arrived, I realized that I was totally not dressed appropriately. I felt uncomfortable and started struggling with my feelings. The crowd was all business with the exception of a few women dressed perhaps a bit too provocative for their age. There was quite a range in age but you could definitely tell that the crowd had money. Bymark was full of people with large expense accounts. The menu required it as well! We ordered drinks and appetizers hoping to keep the tab small. The food was great and I really liked my martini, which was Bymark’s signature drink.

Was the evening successful? It is very difficult to say. We didn’t meet any men, in fact, we didn’t mingle with any men. I made a very weak attempt at starting a conversation with someone behind the bar that acted like a manager/owner of the place. He wasn’t very impressed so the conversation didn’t go too far. The evening however helped me determine what it was that I wanted from this experience. One thing is for sure, I really do not want to frequent bars to simply look pretty and scout men…hoping that someone will come approach or I catch the eye of someone cute. This is not me and that is exactly why I felt so comfortable and out of place at Bymark. I knew deep down that I went there with the wrong intentions. I felt like a gold-digger and so out of place. Not a great feeling, trust me! Although the fact that I couldn’t afford everything on the menu saddened me, I did like the place so I would like to go simply with the intent of enjoying some drinks with friends. I do not want to have ulterior motives when going to bars…the goal should be to simply talk and have fun.

I have decided that I only want to meet guys naturally…I know the chances of bumping into my dream guy on the street is slim so I will create opportunities to meet people in general. However, these opportunities should be around activities that I enjoy as well. Perhaps, sport, culture and art events. Teresa suggested that we join a ski club and I’ve always wanted to learn so why not?!!! I will share this idea with the girls and see what they think. But my days of going to bars purposefully looking for a guy are over. I will try to convince the girls to only go to bars perhaps once every two weeks to talk about our progress. This way, we will be killing two birds with one stone. We will have our meeting as planned and also get to try nice posh bars and lounges in Toronto. And who knows? We might meet a guy on one of our outings but at least it won’t be planned. I wouldn’t mind going to ByMark again to have that yummy Bymark martini with ABSOLUT Citron, pink grapefruit juice and Champagne…yum! Plus, I can afford the martinis

hmmm….I wonder where this adventurous project will take me next…hmmmm

Bymark - pricey but nice